From the basement I could hear the kids in the family room. They were being louder than normal and I was already having trouble focusing.
Why are they being so loud? They know it’s radio day.
How can I possibly summarize all my thoughts?
It was Thursday, June 4th. I sat down in the chair to do another episode of my radio show, At Home and Abroad on Alive Radio Network. While my husband rearranged cords, positioned lights, and fiddled with my mic, I just sat, mulling it all over.
I didn’t know what to make of the past two weeks. It had been so full of events, news, opinions and lots and lots of emotion.
What do I say on the show this week? How can I capture all that had gone on? How do I respond?
I looked down at my page of notes. It was a mess. There was nothing linear. It was full of words, circled thoughts, and lines that pointed to other words and circles.
In second grade I learned how to map out my thoughts in bubbles. From the bubble map, one could then create a linear outline from those thoughts and ideas. Today, I didn’t get past the bubble map.
It was go time, my husband counted down. I realized I needed to start by reporting all that I had seen. So I began.
“These past two weeks, I’ve seen anger, outrage, solidarity, sadness, tiredness, sorrow, mourning…”
I continued listing the range of emotions. I moved on to different actions and opinions I’d also observed. Everything from angry riots to prayerful protests. Everything from peaceful unity to intense hatred.
Of all that I had on my notes, one conversation stood out to me. It was a conversation between two reporters I saw on the evening news.
Man 1: “I thought we lived in a civilized society until I saw all this rioting.”
Man 2: “Well, I thought we lived in a civilized society until I saw an officer kneel on George Floyd’s neck!”
And that captured my main conclusion.
It became glaringly obvious. Man 1’s attention was captured when he saw riots break out across the country. This was unacceptable to him. Man 2’s attention was caught when he saw an officer wrongfully kill a man.
While we may be looking at the same events, we are not all looking at them from the same perspective.
“This is what I’ve learned about racism. I cannot understand it from my experience and perspective alone. I’ve got to listen to other voices.” I went on to elaborate.
On any other day, concluding that we see life from different perspectives would have fallen flat. Of course we all see life from different perspectives! That’s a no brainer. But today, as I came to that conclusion, it felt much weightier.
I admitted and acknowledged that I don’t know everything and I’ve got to learn to listen.
I learned that in second grade as well. Though, I guess I didn’t realize just how important it was until now.
After the show ended, I went upstairs from the cold basement and continued on with the rest of my day, feeding, and caring for my five children. As I reflected on the importance of my own youth, I felt a renewed sense of pride in motherhood. I saw new value in teaching the basics of listening, learning, observing and empathizing.
I appreciate the voice and opportunity I have because of my radio show, but it pales in comparison with the voice and opportunity I have as a mother. As I reflected on recent events and racism, I was reminded that it all starts in the heart. And the heart is most deeply influenced and guided in the home.
Perhaps the most powerful thing I can contribute to this world is my own children.
