Because of the plethora of congregations in many areas it can be easy to pick and choose what kind of congregation you think best suits you, your preferences and your uniqueness. Consider that choosing the right congregation should not look like shopping for the perfect match, but rather discovering the place you (and your family) will best learn and grow as a Christian in service, worship and community. Whether you’re moving to a new area, finding a church for the first time or simply know it is time to move on from where you’ve been, here are some basic guidelines to keep you from a consumer mentality while looking around.
1. Give it time.
I’ve mentioned this point before, but getting to the heart of a church takes time. Just like the old saying, don’t judge a book by its cover, well, don’t judge a church by one service. I’ve seen perfectly excellent churches completely dismissed because they use a multi-site model, or because the style is “too liturgical,” or because they use electric guitar or don’t use electric guitar and on and on. All of these are weak reasons to not give a church a chance. The rest of the tips cannot be followed unless you give a church a little bit of time.
2. Bigger is not always better.
Willow Creek, one of the largest and most influential churches in the US came out with survey results a few years ago that shockingly declared “We made a mistake.” What they meant by this was that the programs and “big” church functions that they were offering attenders were not actually producing spiritual growth in their congregants. Pastor Bill Hybels said it like this: “In other words, spiritual growth doesn’t happen best by becoming dependent on elaborate church programs but through the age-old spiritual practices of prayer, bible reading, and relationships. And, ironically, these basic disciplines do not require multi-million dollar facilities and hundreds of staff to manage.” So true. Even if a church seems to “have it all,” it can’t take the place of good old “prayer, bible reading and relationships,” which are essential to actual growth.
3. Consider your family situation.
Over the years I’ve known many families with, let’s say, special family needs. Major life events or struggles may need to take priority for a season and be the determining factor in deciding on a church. Perhaps their teen is going through an exceptionally rough time. It which case having a solid youth group or available youth leader are really important for you. The same may be true for adoptive families, families with a hearing impairment, etc. Be sure to decide carefully if your family is really in this kind of unique situation. Don’t simply default to the desires of one person in the family. Otherwise, this too can become an excuse to choose a church as a consumer. Additionally, take caution before you uproot your family from a congregation who knows you well. Sometimes this is the last thing a family needs in the midst of trying times.
4. People are key.
One of the major findings in the survey from Willow Creek was that small groups and quality relationships were key in making a difference, whereas large events and programs made very little. Growth doesn’t happen alone. We were created for relationship with one another. If you’re looking for good teaching you can find plenty of podcasts and sermons online. You can even listen to them at your own convenience without having to get your whole family dressed and out the door. Even prayer and bible-reading can (though not always should) be done on your own. So remember the point of church. The point is to be a part of the local body of Christ (the Church!) where you can build quality relationships, pray with one another, encourage each other, build each other up and represent Christ to the world. The body of Christ is meant to be collaborative. None of the these things are meant to happen alone. When looking for a church, look for quality followers of Christ. The kind that have “been with Jesus.” The kind that demonstrate the transformative power of Gospel in their lives.
“When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.” Acts 4:13
This will make the biggest difference in your spiritual growth. Even things that are often done alone (i.e. prayer and bible reading) will be strengthened and encouraged if you’re living alongside quality followers of Christ.
5. Keep the main thing the main thing.
It’s easy to get sidetracked by musical styles, service order and other preferences, but let’s look at what’s really important in a church. At the heart of the services, the preaching and the programs, what are their actual written and practiced core beliefs? Our pastor often talks about agreeing on the essentials (the divinity of Jesus, salvation by grace through faith, etc.) and holding our convictions humbly. I think this is a good approach. Start with the essentials and try to put your preferences into perspective. While you will likely not agree with everything you see or experience, can you align yourself with who they are at their core?
